- How vibes complement intercourse. Note that more than three-quarters of couples who take vibes to be with them use them during intercourse. The goal here is often to bring the woman to orgasm while the two people are locked in genital embrace. In movies and on TV, the women almost always come during intercourse. Actors typically pant and writhe and then both climax and collapse into each other’s arms. But in real life, a great deal of research (elucidated in The Case of the Female Orgasm by Elizabeth Lloyd) shows that only about 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse. Adding a vibrator to partner sex can raise that proportion substantially. In the man-on-top (missionary) position, place the vibrator (usually a bullet or other slim phallic vibe) at the junction of your two pelvises. In the woman-on-top position, the man or woman can position the vibrator on or near the woman’s clitoris. And in the rear entry (doggies) position, the man or woman can do the same. In addition, some couples want simultaneous orgasms-ordinarily, they’re rare, but much more likely with the help of a vibrator.
As couples incorporate vibrator play into intercourse, initially the woman should handle the device, and show the man how she likes to use it on herself. Men should pay special attention to how women want vibes used on them. Both the penis and clitoris contain around the same number of touch-sensitive nerve receptors, but in the clitoris, they’re packed into much less tissue, which makes the clitoris more sensitive to touch than the penis. Many women’s clitorises are too sensitive for direct touch with a vibrator (and sometimes with fingers or mouth). Discuss this. If the woman has a super-sensitive clitoris, use the vibrator around it, not directly on it.
In addition to enhancing lovemaking, the discussion involved in partner vibrator play also increases couple intimacy. As lovers share how they’d like to play with vibes, they get to know each other more deeply. Intimacy is a key element of sexual satisfaction. Vibrators not only supply intense sensation.
But enough about the research and my advice. Now it’s your turn. What’s been your experience? Have I missed anything? Please comment.
They also bring lovers emotionally closer
Herbenick, D. et al. “Prevalence and Characteristics of Vibrator Use by Women in the United States: Results from a Nationally Representative Survey,” Journal of Sexual Medicine (2009) 6:1857.
Herbenick, D. “Women’s Vibrator Use in Sexual Partnerships: Results from a Nationally Representative Survey in the United States,” Journal of Sex and ) .
Herbenick, D. “Beliefs About Women’s Vibrator Use: Results from a Nationally Representative Probability Survey in the United States,” Journal of Sex and ) .
Reece, M. et al. “Prevalence and Characteristics of Vibrator Use by Men in the United States,” Journal of Sexual Medicine (2009) 6:1743.
Have you used vibrators during partner sex?
Reece, M. et al. “Vibrator Use Among Heterosexual Men Varies by Partnership Status: Results from a Nationally Representative Study in the United States,” Journal of Sex and ) .
- Ask her for coaching. Vibrators are available in more than a dozen varieties, from thumb-size battery-powered bullets that produce modest vibration to plug-in, arm-size Hitachi Magic Wands that provide much more intense sensations, to variable-speed vibes that allow users to select intensity. Depending on the vibrator, women may feel differently about where, how, and for how long to apply the device. Men should ask repeatedly, “Is this OK? Tell me how you like it used on you.”